Michelle Roach
Registered Therapeutic Counsellor
Based on my work with clients, I believe my story is rather typical. I had a pretty good childhood. And yet, through a lot of little moments, and a few big ones, I managed to develop the nagging suspicion that I was somehow less worthy of love, acceptance and attention than everyone else.
I didn’t have the skills to make sense of these fears at the time, and I ended up constructing a defense system that I carried with me for decades without any real awareness of what I was doing or why. The fears would get loud when life was hard, and they would warn me not to let my guard down when life was going well. Ultimately, my strategies were always on call and they kept me living life at 70%.
This was my anxiety, and for years it was my near constant companion, although you would never have known from looking at me. I had a dozen ways to avoid, hide, and manage it, but none that really helped me shift it. I believed that I was doing everything “right”, yet the happiness that seemed so easy for others, seemed so elusive for me.
After completing a business degree, I spent nearly 20 years in the IT industry. I was making a good living, but I was stressed and unhappy. This wasn’t the path for me. I was suffocating and I didn’t yet see why I was making these choices.
It wasn’t until I faced crisis in my own life that I started to see that I was living my life in a way I believed was safe, and that this safety was an illusion. This is when I found transpersonal counselling. Finally the boulder of fear began to crumble, and I could show up and play my part.
I found the courage to follow my heart and start down the path I was always meant to take, one of service and stepping into life as my true self. The years that followed have been a journey of self discovery, service and transformation that I could never have predicted. I am grateful for it every day.
I now run a private counselling practice in Charlottetown, PEI and feel grateful for this every morning when I wake up. I work with people who have hit their own personal crisis point and are ready to face their fear and change their lives. I volunteer with a hospice organization doing bedside and grief support work, and I serve on the board of my counselling association. I can see the myriad of ways my analytical background shows up in my work now and makes me the unique counsellor I am.
I truly believe that living life from a place of love rather than fear affects our thoughts, words and actions, and ultimately creates the relationships, families, communities, governments, and world in which we want to live.
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What are you most proud of professionally? And who or why?
My clients. I am so proud of all of them. I know from experience that there are moments when this work can feel like walking through fire. They step into their fear, shame and discomfort every week with courage, grace, humility, honesty, accountability and love. They are breaking all the rules that have kept them safe up until now, and they are chasing new goals – living lives of purpose, meaning, connection, integrity, and love. They are holding onto the dream of having a different experience in their life, and I am incredibly honored to witness, guide and hold space while they become the heroes of their own story.
What’s your vision for Atlantic Canada in 10 years? What’s our biggest opportunity now?
I see an epidemic of anxiety among adults of all ages in the Atlantic region as well as across Canada. One beautiful quality that Atlantic Canada instills in its people is a desire to “look after our own”. My hope is to play a part in that in a meaningful way.
I believe we can all have a positive impact on those around us by being more authentic in our own lives. It is an invitation to others to do that same. I believe we can change the experience in this part of the world by using the power of our communities to remind each other that we belong and that we matter in times when life’s challenges may cause us to forget.
What was your greatest stage of growth? What made it a shift for you?
I experienced my deepest learning and growth by stepping into service. I often recommend to my clients to find a way to be in service - whether that means volunteering with an organization, or simply showing up in a new way for family, friends and neighbours. It is a powerful way to experience connection and recognize our valuable resources and gifts.
What’s your favourite or most read book or podcast? Now or at each of your greatest stages of growth?
These days I am listening to a lot of This American Life and The Rich Roll Podcast. They are meaningful, inspiring and tell the stories of real people who share their real struggles and journeys. I believe what we take in has a big impact on our outlook. We live in a world where we have to work a little harder to seek out the positive stories to create balance.
Who’s inspired you, directly or indirectly? How have they inspired you?
My father. Although we didn’t often agree, I always admired his courage to stand up for what he believed. He modeled that for me and taught me it was OK to trust your own voice, even against strong opposition. I valued that quality and my personal work has helped me learn how to truly claim it for myself.
My Transpersonal Counselling community of classmates, peers, supervisors, mentors and friends. What a brave and beautiful group of perfectly imperfect humans. They taught me to see myself that way as well. And they taught me that I am capable of creating that type of community anywhere.
What would you have done differently?
I used to wish that I had found this work sooner, and that thought came with some grief for what I saw as time I wasted stuck in my fear and old patterns. But the truth is, I found it when I was ready. I needed to be where I was before I was ready to step into the life I was always meant to live. It was through my struggles that I found my voice and my healing purpose.
I have a lot of compassion for people who are stuck in their stories of who they are and how life is. I know how uncomfortable it is to let that go and open up to something new.
What are the principles you live by?
I strive to run my business, and my life, based on my core values – Integrity, Self Determination, Equality and Kindness.
It is my constant work to live within these principles. I have learned that when I am able to, I am at peace.
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Avid traveler, vegan cook, cat lover, Entrepreneur, Volunteer, Good Neighbour